I am lame, I admit it, but since my last post “Grateful Dud”, I had totally given up on getting tickets. The never ending sound track of my life (that plays in my head) waffled between “He’s Gone” (nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile) and “The Wheel” (Won’t you try just a little bit harder, Couldn’t you try just a little bit more?)
But, if I am really honest with myself, THIS has been the little voice I have been trying to ignore:
You can’t let go and you can’t hold on,
You can’t go back and you can’t stand still,
If the thunder don’t get you then the lightning will.
Ok, I get it.
I painfully and FINALLY get it.
Luckily, I woke up before I spent even MORE money on a show that I would have been greatly disappointed in. I didn’t ever call myself a Jerry’s Kid, but I was one. When I finally got over the hype and sat down and really THOUGHT about it. Thought about leaving my dogs at home during a season that could very well kill them or leaving my spouse at home to care for them while my son and I traveled to Chicago and then spent another grand or so on food and lodging. I kinda got a little sick. All this money for a show that STILL would not have Jerry Garcia…Well hellfire, I could have done that thousands of times over the years. I could have gone to see Rat Dog or Micky Hart. If I missed the culture so much, I could have toured with Phish. I had parents I could have left my kid with.
But I didn’t.
It never crossed my mind even once.
Thinking back, I have only gone to see The Merry Prankster’s a handful of times in the 20 years my son has been on this earth and I know I have had more than 2 weekends free in all that time. Seeing those boys again, now, that would be more special- since they used to sing “The Mighty Quinn” for me. So maybe, in 9 months when he is 21-I will drag him out to see them.
I occasionally listen to Chanel 23 on SIRUS, but even that- It just isn’t the same.
I am actually a little embarrassed that I totally fell for the marketing ploy. That pulling out the words “The Grateful Dead” got me in such a tizzy.
So, today, when I got to my mailbox and saw the BRIGHT YELLOW envelope, I cheered. I have been released! My money orders are back (and cashed and deposited back in the bank). And I feel so much better. I haven’t decided if we will spend the money on a broadcast event. If I had to decide today, I would pass. I might not feel that way in July.