Thoughts on Twerk-Gate
I wanted to write this last week, but I was still on my bloggy break. It was probably a good thing because I have been all over the board on this one.
- As a daughter that didn’t always behave the way my parents tried to raise me
- As a mother of a son
- As the divorced mother of a son (there is a difference)
- As a woman and a wife
- As a Christian-who tries really hard to offer grace (and doesn’t always do it very well)
I read “Dear Daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you“. (I almost titled this post, dear parents…). I also read, “Let’s not let Robin Thicke off the Hook“, “How to talk to your Son’s about Robin Thicke” and “The problem with Miley Cyrus is Robin Thicke”.
All of them have valid points. I echo the sentiment of Deborah Cruz in wondering if there isn’t a Disney Curse-but I think it really is more a child actor curse. The kids from Different Strokes never set food on a Disney set. Rare is a child star that stays in the spot light that doesn’t got a little nut job. Hello, Mr. Jackson….
And let me just say for the record; Thank you Jesus, Mary and Papa Joseph that my friends never walked around with camera’s and video. I am also thankful that many of my friends were just as intoxicated and wild as I was and they don’t remember or are gracious enough to not bring it up every time we meet. There are things that Flash through my mind from my early 20’s that-wow, Thank God again that I wasn’t famous and my audience was my small circle of friends.
Here is something that I have not seen mentioned in any article I scanned, not once. In June, MIley’s parents filed for divorce (again) and just this last week decided to work on their marriage “for the family”. There are reports of Miley and her Dad in therapy because of her parents Marriage woes (which is great). But, no one is talking about how her parents relationship status could be part of this current “downward” spiral. I even saw one article BLAME Miley for their parents problems. (I will get back to that shortly). Did you ever have a friend who’s parents were getting a divorce or talking about it when you were in your early 20’s? Or even in High School? Studies show that kids who’s parents split when kids are in different stages of development have different results but ALL KIDS, not matter what age DO suffer. I remember the way I acted out when my parent’s relationship wasn’t all rosy, and honestly, it wasn’t very far off of what we saw last week on MTV.
A 20 year old woman is no longer under her parents “care”, but she also doesn’t have a fully formed and functioning brain. Maybe we should have a moratorium on child actors, they MUST leave the public eye from 17-26… Hormones even out, brain fully developed, you still wanna be on TV and in the movies, fantastic. I saw posts on facebook about how proud her daddy must be of her behavior, that she needed a spanking, the list went on and on. Not one person initially wondered WHY. What is going on in her world that is causing this behavior? “It must be drugs!”, “She is an attention whore.”
Or maybe it is just a world of pain and no idea how to make it stop.
(then again, that is the root of some peoples addiction issues).
After I saw the performance, I thought “Britney Spears needs to get a hold of that girl and pull her out on the other side.” (and then I read the next day they are working together on a project-YAY).
My son was 5 when his dad and I split and I remember how angry he was and how he blamed himself (this is back to the article blaming Miley). How incredibly irresponsible for someone to even suggest that when that IS THE FIRST place kids (even adult children) go when their parents relationship falters. “If I went to sleep on time.”,”If I didn’t whine so much.”, “If I never cut off all my hair on twitter and got video’d smoking a bong.”…if, If, IF!
I am not saying that she doesn’t bare some responsibility for her actions at the VMA’s. She does.
I am not saying that Robin Thicke off the hook, or that he doesn’t have a part in this mess. He is an adult with a wife (and I don’t care if she is OK with it or not) and he is a father. AND, just because his wife WAS ok with it does NOT make it right.
I am not saying that her parents are guilty, or guilt free.
I am saying that there are so many factors that led to this perfect storm. Everyone of of them has a part to play and every one of them needs to step back and think about their actions especially since they are in the public light and even as much as we don’t want them to be models for our kids, they are (unless we live in a cave and get rid of cable).
I am an idealist. I know it isn’t going to happen, so all I can do…
Pray that baby girl can turn off all the stuff people are saying about her and get to a place where she can stop acting out to ease her pain and get to the root of the issue.
Pray that parents realize that MTV and the VMA’s are not something we should let our young children watch (even if Hannah Montana and Justin Timberlake ARE on).